Time Required
10 minutes daily for three weeks
How to Do It
- To start, list five things that make you feel like your life is enjoyable, enriching, or worthwhile at this moment. These things can be as general as “being in good health” or as specific as “drinking a delicious cup of coffee this morning.” The purpose of this first step is to help you shift into a positive state of mind about your life in general.
- Next, think about the most recent time when something didn’t go your way, or when you felt frustrated, irritated, or upset.
- In a few sentences, briefly describe the situation in writing.
- Then, list three things that can help you see the bright side of this situation. For example, perhaps you missed your bus this morning. Three ways to look on the bright side of this situation might be:
1. Even though you missed the bus, you got some good exercise when you were running to catch it.
2. You’re fortunate to live in a city where there was another bus just 10 minutes later, or where buses run reliably at all.
3. Ten years from now, you likely won’t remember what happened this morning.
Why You Should Try It
We all tend to ruminate on things that have gone wrong in our lives—a mistake we made at work, an evening that didn’t go as planned. We might even think about them so often that our lives seem filled with these mishaps and disappointments. Focusing on them too much, however, can cast a pall over our lives and even be associated with depressive thinking.
Looking on the bright side even when things go wrong is a key component of optimism, which research links to lower rates of depression, a better ability to cope with stress, and more relationship satisfaction, among other benefits. While finding the silver lining on a negative experience might (understandably) make you fear turning into a Pollyanna, many of us have a tendency to look on the bright side too rarely, not too often. This exercise is designed to help you achieve a healthier balance.
Why It Works
Looking on the bright side of life in general, or of a bad situation in particular, can increase happiness by boosting your sense of self-worth, motivating you to go after your goals, and enhancing your enjoyment of life. Regularly completing the silver linings exercise can help you get in the habit of recognizing positive aspects of your life and seeing the upside to challenging situations rather than fixating on the downsides. With repeated practice, you may find that it comes more naturally to look on the bright side, even when faced with difficulties in your life.
Evidence That It Works
Sergeant, S., & Mongrain, M. (2014). An online optimism intervention reduces depression in pessimistic individuals. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(2), 263-274.
Participants who completed a set of optimism exercises (this exercise and the Goal Visualization task) daily for three weeks reported greater engagement in life and less dysfunctional thinking (e.g., believing that small failures make one a failure as a person) at the end of the study than they had at the start of it. Participants who had a tendency to be pessimistic especially benefited from the exercise and showed fewer depressive symptoms afterward. However, these effects seemed to wear off two months later, suggesting the need to repeat this practice periodically.
Sources
Myriam Mongrain, Ph.D., York University
For More
Check out the Goal Visualization practice, which was developed and studied in tandem with this Silver Linings practice.
Comments
and Reviews
Jim Shehy
It was a struggle at first but got easier the more I did it.
L Kay Gohlke
This one was tough - I can learn lessons from bad things, but it's hard for me to find "silver linings"
Suelí Schauble De Moura
Estou impressionada como em tão pouco tempo de leitura aqui vi tantas possibilidades de melhorar a minha vida , foi como abrir um baú velho cheio de coisas novas.
Erin Moore
This is an incredibly helpful process when perseverating on a minor roadblock (and they're all minor roadblocks). As someone with a physical disability, I face daily regular frustrations with my body, access, people. Sometimes, I adjust the 3 things to see the situation positively to 3 manageable goals I know I can accomplish regardless of the challenge facing me. I do wonder how this process starts touching on the territory of toxic positivity. When we're frustrated and discouraged, how can we own the feelings and move forward while still acknowledging the feeling existed in the first place?
Erin Moore
This is an incredibly helpful process when perseverating on a minor roadblock (and they're all minor roadblocks). As someone with a physical disability, I face daily regular frustrations with my body, access, people. Sometimes, I adjust the 3 things to see the situation positively to 3 manageable goals I know I can accomplish regardless of the challenge facing me. I do wonder how this process starts touching on the territory of toxic positivity. When we're frustrated and discouraged, how can we own the feelings and move forward while still acknowledging the feeling existed in the first place?
Nat
I was a little discouraged by some of these comments so I tried to find another silver lining in this process to share with others! As a variation on the instructions, after writing about my personal challenge, I filled out 3 silver linings, which was of course difficult as others have said. However, to stop my mind from flicking back to all the difficulties of that dark paragraph, I added an extra step: I wrote a quick "TL;DR (Too long; didn't read)" with 3 more bullet points, this time summarising my 3 silver linings into shorter positive "mantras" to help me to remember them. For instance I summarised one of my points as "right now, we've got this!" so that I can focus on what's going right and what assets are contributing to overcoming this challenge, rather than getting stuck in worries for the future. 😊 Hope that might help someone else too.
Carol Grins
I struggled with this exercise because when something didn’t go my way, or when I felt frustrated, irritated, or upset the only thing that I think of is my constant pain. I am frustrated when I cannot stand up from the couch, irritated that I cannot walk without limping and upset at the fear of not knowing how bad this will become. Listing three things that can help me see the bright side of this situation is hard. Is it a bright side that I do not pay health insurance? Is it a bright side that hip replacement waiting list at the hospital are four years and not longer? Perhaps the bright side is that my condition is not life threatening - there are many many people worse off than me. However, this exercise only made me feel sorry for myself.
Danielle Williams
Good
Danielle Williams
Well I feel it shows me a lot of different thing about my self
Danielle Williams
Keep my self going is not how to not stay in one place in my mine but be in a growing State of mine all the time
Danielle Williams
Very good it make u think about what type of person u are going to become.
Anna Barker
My Dad always emphasized “Look for the silver lining!” And my Mom would sing ? me the song! I’ve always done this with my daughters & now my grandchildren, too! ???
Mary Lou Foster
It made me stop and think & and in taking the time to think things were not so bad that it can not be resolved and I am very upbeat via hope typially.
Danielle Williams
Good u have Balance
Leslie Piper
good for re-framing
Ayzen Atalay Durmuşoğlu
Easy and inspring
Ayzen Atalay Durmuşoğlu
East but inspring
Andy Hunt
Are duplicates allowed on different days, or should your joys and concerns be unique for each entry?
Taqdir Ilahi Kum
https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things
Fressia Cerna
To focus on what is good in my life, makes me apreciate it and I feel good about it. I think there are a lot of good things in our lives, but we miss them focusing on little distateful things. This exercise is excelent and I practice every morning and every night. Makes me sleep well
Naranjan Dev Makker
We are happy to learn that happiness is added to our value system. The weightage that we learned from your survey is very interesting and feel happy to learn that human academics are focussing on the true purpose of life. In my opinion, purposeful life is to be part of this universal autonomy. our functional creativity is useful to sustain this autonomy. Thank you Berkley Faculty for your foresight. We sincerely admire your efforts.
Nilza Rivera
This is definite an icebreaker to our daily busy lifestyle. Balance your personal self and your work environment so that you have time to enjoy details that are overseen.
cibernete
very interesting practice
Lara
Wonderful practice, really helpful with many effects. Makes difficult events more endurable and even meaningful in a positive way.
Marvin D. Hernández
"3. Ten years from now, you likely won’t remember what happened this morning." pretty much applies to anything that will ever cause us worry. 😊
Carl Burton
I've been eating at a friend's for the last month. Before we eat we go around the table telling what good and bad happened for the day along with the silver lining. I was surprised to see it actually in the course.
Carl Burton
I was very surprised. I've been having dinner with a friend for the past month. Before we eat we go around the table saying what good and bad happened and then the silver lining. She has just started this class too but already had parts incorporated into her daily ritual.
MT
Very good, made my stress relieved.
Zivio!
Thankful for the "Silver Linings" exercise on the Greater Good in Action site. It gave some more perspective on gratitude by asking to list five things that "make you feel that your life is enjoyable, enriching, and/or worthwhile AT THE MOMENT." Although I've regularly practiced using a gratitude journal, something about how this exercise was phrased helped to find fresh things to be grateful for which has been tough given my current situation. Grateful for: 1. Mental Health Friday - I'm taking care of myself and looking for and creating positive feelings. 2. I have time off from work on the weekends. 3. Myleva makes life easier and sweet for me. She cares about me. 4. I have my sister as a close person and friend to visit with and confide in. 5. Finances are such that retirement is a real possibility. So pleased to have found something new to bring some positivity especially when motivation is low.
Heather
This really helped change my perspective. I also loved the helpful examples.
Borja Palacios
It is important to analyze the things that make us happy and that are positive to apply them in our lives.
Fuj
@Anon what do I do if I have already done it a few times when there was nothing wrong going on but I found something just to do the excercise? Which has caused me to hate live and become terrified of everything. Is there a way to get rid or take back the things that I said frustrated me? By changing this somehow?
Anon
@Fuj Don't do this activity everyday. Only use it if something negative happens that you find yourself dwelling on. Think of it this way: you only need to "find the silver lining" when dealing with something negative, but you don't need to "find something negative" just to complete the exercise.
Fuj
Alittle ironically this has turned me into a pessimist who does not see any brightness in her future. It constantly revolves around the idea that everyday there will be something bad or frustrating in your day which is not often the case unless you go looking for it. It has made me more resentful and distraught.
Fuj
This excercise has ruined my life completely. I am no longer a happy person but one that worries about every little detail of everyday. Do not do this excercise because you will regret it. If anyone has an suggestions on how to modify this excercise so it does not bring ruin to your life let me know.
Fuj
This does not work.
Monica KhANNA
This exercise helps to reassess our actions earlier in a situation and how to improve upon what did not work and to reconfirm and repeat what did work. It ensures we improve our time and relationships.
Rodrigo Baena
I loved the idea of opening up the exercise with a positive memory or influence. So often we start seen things from a negative perspective and it can make things harder. I used a similar exercise in my workshops. Thanks for sharing it!
Scott Deeth
Great Idea !!! Focus on some positives rather than the negatives
Cathie Owenby
I have used this activity to critique (not criticize!) myself, and will continue this practice for a week. It's important to me to have more awareness of how easily I let negative thoughts take over my mood. I certainly have a tendency to show my emotions with a "resting bitch face" at times. Not an attractive or happy way to be, and it certainly can cause me to isolate far too much.
sandra tisdale
I am discovering that "little" things seem to irritate me; however, the "little" irritations that I am dealing with are big things because disrespect, and inconsideration are the bottom line of what and why I feel that way. How do I change feeling that way when I seem to not be able to think differently?
Joyce Douglas Yakamavich
I tend to be the "Pollyanna" in the group and oftentimes get laughed at for my positive attitude. I can only smile and think it is to my benefit that I can be positive while they find new and creative ways to complain and be negative.
Jonas Hjalmar Blom
This is a simple, yet very effective, exercise for practicing your perspective-taking. I highly recommend it!
Andrea Velasco Burbano
Great exercise.
Fide De Viáncha
Lo he practicado y me da energia para seguir adelante
Kim Perkins Giangrande
It is so easy to focus on the negative of the moment and bypass the smaller things or even the bigger picture. We are dealing with a brutal situation at work. While I can not stop the outcome, I can still feel proud of the ability to identify the problem and anticipate the outcome. It minimally validates my professional role in the situation.
Colleen Casey Leonard
So often I find that I get bogged down with frustrations at work. This exercise is helping me to remember that there are also successes at work.
Marta Schwer Zu Sagen
I'm going to introduce this activity to my children too!
Julia Piñero Merino
I´m on it!!! <3<3
Lana Morrow
A defining exercise for me. The research pertaining to the lack of empathy in the US is very evident among teens. Disconnection and fear is increasing, which, I believe social media has played a large part. Communication lacks intonation, thus causing possible misunderstanding within texted messaging. Children's nervous systems are not developed enough to interpret rational emotions when determining the intention of the typed words vs verbal, and thus possibly misinterpreted.
Alice Garfias
This exercise really helped me look at the bright side of a current frustrating situation. I want to practice it more often. Thank you!
Stephanie Glazar
Great happiness tool! Sometimes we cannot see the proof of the silver lining until later in our day-to-day lives.
Bob Mila Nelson
This helps me get through life and take one day at a time.
Neil Chisman
I'm HAPPY being a Polyanna - i thought she was great! 😊
Kathy Gevlin
This is so simple, but so useful. The only reason I'm not giving it a five star rating is because I want to practice a little and see if it has lasting effects:)
Eugenia Barth
really like how this activity keep me present in the moment
Scott Ofsdahl
Thank you for reminding us to focus on all the good life has to offer. I'm an AF Chaplain and this exercise will help Airmen, Soldiers, Marines and Sailors find light to balance some dark experiences. I found this exercise most beneficial in my own life.
Bozena Kloda-Urbanski
Love this new site!!
Bozena Kloda-Urbanski
What a great reminder of one of the practices taught in Science of Happiness course! It takes only a split second to shift our mind from one state to another so having this tool makes it easier to build a habit of finding positive in any situation.
Judy Egnew Ness
This was very helpful and I know I'll use it as a therapist. I used it for myself in dealing with frustration over caring for my mother-in-law after my father-in-law's recent death. It really did improve my attitude when I started looking for silver linings. (I actually listed seven!)
Chelsea Green
I'm going to use this activity in a workshop for at-risk youth who will be starting their first jobs this summer. I think it will be a great practice to have in their tool kit if (when) they encounter a bad day.
Hai Hoang
More please